quinta-feira, 26 de março de 2015

Memories of satelliting, part 4

When the ARA EXPRESS 3 satellite reached the news, the BBC sketched plans for a sketch comedy series called "Satelliting". In September of 1991, BBC Two premiered the show.
The first episode started with this:
The nondescript character was hosting a show from a parallel dimension.
The show lasted for thirteen episodes. Chriddof's father wrote the episodes based on those experiences. When I watched those episodes, I felt ashamed of the attempts at remaking it.
I own the show on DVD.

Super Turbo Atomic Mega Rabbit

This used to air on channels from Limith and Eurectipheria. I think that this was animated in Eurectipheria, by some Harry Partridge, who also made a Watchmen animated series.

Joelho-Alto Prejuízo Moral


I own the VHS of it.


Thanks, RTR 1! Now I can watch it at my own risk!

quarta-feira, 25 de março de 2015

Memories of satelliting, part 3

As previously explained, a card was needed to decode the channels coming from Nara. The card said "NARA DECODER" and nothing more, apart from an arrow. The channels on the ARA EXPRESS 3 satellite were all FTA but changed with hyper-frequency as previously stated.
The images without the card were a psychadelic rainbow of desire. One time, there was a channel that aired a cheap live-action Peasant's Quest movie:
File:Blurry TV Screen slightly undistorted.png
The ARA EXPRESS 3 satellite decided to offer Radio Limith Television permanently in 1990, due to high demands from people in remote areas of Limith that couldn't pick up the signal properly.
But I knew a lot of shows from ARA EXPRESS 3. Those shows didn't come to the UK back then.
Suddenly, the newspapers discovered me for the good reasons - they discovered the weird shows and channels that I had. Soon, Arayob returned to the UK and installed over 500 satellite dishes pointing out to ARA EXPRESS 3.
And thus, ARA EXPRESS 3 became a success.

Regarding the DILUBA channel, it did talk about the fact that an entire person would temporarily become invisible when using it.
Later on, we got KHYBER TV, which consisted of shows hosted or made by Khyber Waterman. By then, we upgraded to a new receiver with the capacity to receive up to 50 transponders (this happened in November of 1990). 25 transponders were receiving signal and more and more channels were permanent.

Memories of satelliting, part 2

The installation day was sometime around the end of September 1989. Out of the 21 transponders, only twelve were used. The channels varied on an irregular basis: on a daily, weekly, monthly or annual basis. From what I recall:
1: EBC - EURECTIPHERIAN BROADCASTING CORPORATION - Public TV channel from Eurectipheria. From what I know, it aired lots of movies at night. It used to be available once every month because of the wacky satellite changes. Sometimes we could get POWER STATION, a music channel, also from Eurectipheria, for two days every week.
2: TVE 1 - Not TVE Internacional and not the Spanish channel. Although it looked like the Spanish channel, it came from the Naran country of Eurcatia. The channel was permanent and the channel was a psychadelic rainbow of desire, given the fact that without the decoder of Naran signals it had a distorted colorful picture. I recall seeing what looked like a cartoon which was repeated several times in a row because of technical difficulties, but as soon as I put the card on, it looked like this:
Preservativos Ferrer: che, nunca fallas
3: ITN SRI LANKA - Used to broadcast for a few hours every day and I've seen the channel close down a few times. Timeshared every week with a signal of LONDON TOTIMORPHUS. It aired a few shows like Dallas and Arthur C. Clarke's top 20 recipes for cooked sturgeon.
4: LONDON TOTIMORPHUS - General entertainment channel from the UK. It aired a lot of Jack Hargreaves shows. At 09:00 they aired an hour of live shows from Myanmar.
5: DISCOVERY CHANNEL - The true Discovery Channel that was educational, not that despairfest that lies on that channel today. It aired documentaries about early cellular phones. It was timeshared with DISCOVERY KIDS, which aired a news bulletin read by Tom and Jerry live from their house in Dubai.
6: MTV - Yes, you already know. One of the two fixed channels.
7 - TELEVISION SOUTHEASTERNWESTERNERN - A local ITV channel from Nara. Don't know from where exactly, but it did have the TELEVISION... WITH ATTITUDE block on there.
8 - RTR 1 - Lusophone TV channel from Real. It timeshared a lot and it was exciting to see people speak European Portuguese in Nara. I remember that time where the announcer told us to watch Joelho-Alto Prejuízo Moral, where everyone was talking in a Roberto Leal accent.
Sacrilege!
9 - RADIO LIMITH TELEVISION - It later on became a full-on channel, permanently. It was special because it was the only channel not made by humans. It was made by merpeople. They did have incoherent schedules all the time.

10 - SOME TV CHANNEL FROM ORIENCE - I think that it was called TENY, with a lowercase e.
11 - TCC - Another Eurectipherian channel. Aimed at kids age 390258, especially merpeople.
12 - DILUBA - A channel which aired 24 hours of infomercials for a pseudo-miraculous product known as Diluba. It was timeshared with KRELVEC TV.

terça-feira, 24 de março de 2015

Memories of satelliting, part 1

The following text was written as if I was a different person.
---
My name is Samuel Harris. I was born in 1984.,
When I was five, in 1989, they unleashed to me the strangest of all gifts: the strangest of all satellites. It was the ARA EXPRESS 3 satellite from the Soviet Union.

In fact, I know a Russian bloke called Arayob who did channel surfing once in 1994:
My first contact with the satellite dish was from that Arayob bloke who was travelling across Europe in order for us to get a satellite dish pointed to the ARA EXPRESS 3 satellite. He looked very mysterious and intriguing to someone like myself. He said that the satellite carried channels from Nara, which is a place from "inone and unacquainted countries".
Suddenly, the installation day came. The satellite had 21 pre-installed transponders.
Shows, concepts and countries from other dimensions sprung to life. I now knew where was "Eurectipheria".
I should talk about the channels now, but I should talk about them later.